… and I could of spat in her face! Coming round to PICU in her full-on warpaint, delighted to impart the news, it shows a complete lack of sensitivity about the situation and how I maybe feeling.
I know some of the consultants have pushed greatly to have orthopaedic experienced staff placed on the new surgical / orthopaedic / oncology ward (Ward 217) Whilst I'm glad to know where I'll be working it is supremely gaoling to be place along side people who have (bluntly) got my job. I had hoped they would perhaps understand this and place me on my second choice- medical, where at least I respect the newly appointed senior team and am respected equally.
My confidence is shot and my professional self-esteem is approaching an all time low. Written confirmation should have been issued on the 6th December (well it should have been the 5th, but Child Health is always one step behind), but ours was delayed further because MM had a busted printer.
It really isn't good enough.
Once received there is five days to appeal, I don't think anyone's going to be around to hear an appeal on Saturday the 10th. I don't know where this leaves me receiving my letter on the 8th, five days to appeal takes me to Tuesday the 13th?
I've tried to contact the Union to gain some advice prior to a meeting I have arranged with the Matron tomorrow. Where I should(?) receive my letter, if she's mended the printer, and hopefully an explanation.
How can it be a transparent process if you can't obtain accurate information, your score and comparable scores?
How can you address issues without knowing the areas of apparent failure and weakness?
How can you move on (either in post or to a new job) without a decent explanation?
How can you work for an organisation if at it's core you don't trust it?
After I receive answers then I can decide if an appeal is appropriate and worthwhile? I feel a lot of staff are looking towards me as an example of how to proceed. Even people who were successful have lost faith and intend to move on.
Everyone is scouring the job pages and keeping their ear to the ground, sadly uncovering minimal results. Staff are dropping like flies, the causes illness, abandonment and apathy, all exaggerated manifold by recent events. I look at the uncovered shifts on my own ward and the general lack of staff on busy areas desperate for help and know something has to give.
The dam is straining under all the pressure and I'm sitting on the bank unable to strengthen it or divert the increasing pressure. I'm just waiting for it to burst and get washed away. Perhaps it needs to burst, so we can re-build and put in flood defences, but rather than long-term solutions they prefer to perform bodge jobs to try and patch-up the leak than investigate the actual cause (Where's all the F'ing water coming from?)
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