An end in sight

Finally reach the last night of this dreadful run of off-duty.

I have briefly seen the wards managers over the last couple of days; very briefly across handovers. They say little beyond cursory enquiries of well-being, it appears they can barely look me in the eye at the moment. It is obvious that my dissatisfaction (unhappiness) has reached them, but no one has the courage to confront it ... and I don't have the inclination or energy to currently. I am comforted that I haven't actually done anything wrong, so blame can't be attributed to me in anyway. I'm not off sick. I'm not on maternity leave. I haven't made any outlandish off-duty requests. I don't make a fuss. I just keep my head down and keep going. I reached a point of dissatisfaction, but even then I haven't been unprofessional or laid responsibility unfairly.

We'll see how things are when I return in a week or so's time. Then my appraisal should happen and the discussions that have to take place will hopefully occur? Obviously I'm not holding my breath. I dare not say it but my off-duty when I return appears better, still a high percentage of nights, but better.

Wasn't really feeling it throughout the night, certainly didn't give bad care, just my mind appeared to be already on holiday a few hours before my body actually was.

Must admit that my handover this morning was pretty poor, dismissive even, not neglectful but nonchalant. By the time 7am came I was most concerned with getting away and getting away swiftly.

 The salient details of a child's history and health prior to admission, all seemed fairly unimportant, it's what their like now that really matters. Their lengthy health background can be caught up with as the shift allows. That catch all phrase to cover any neglected or missed areas ... "Read the notes"

When you come on shift, irrespective of it being a day or a night, the staff who are just starting are in no rush for the staff due to finish to leave. I wonder if we should have a longer cross over between the end of one shift and the beginning of another, when a double ratio of staff are present on the ward, even if it was for only thirty minutes? 

Perhaps I should keep quiet. Like many of my suggestions I know it wouldn't be popular with the majority of the staff, in the same way altering the mid-shift would not be. I feel it would be more beneficial is the mid-shift worked until 2am rather than midnight, meaning they'd start at 1.30pm instead of the current 11.30am. To my mind that would be better for all concerned, but I appreciate leaving at two o'clock isn't great.