Autumn, weather, heating & slipping.

The clocks go back and the dark nights descend as the first of November arrives, and with November arrival I grant permission to put the heating on (Hark at me, Lord of the Manor). Odd that as the weather gets colder I find myself wearing less clothes at home.

It is quite obvious that women have a different internal thermostat to men. For every year of my adult life that I have shared a house with a woman I find myself a sweating mass in my underpants wiping condensation from the windows. Melting; pleading to be rescued from the stifling heat.

Despite a mild October, Autumn has now certainly arrived and with it the leafs fall, the ground becomes moist and the risk of slipping returns. Soon the frost will begin, followed by the snow and walking becomes perilous.

I'm not sure originally where or when this anxiety about slipping & falling originates, like everyone I've had a couple of spectacular episodes and near misses, but none that could justify the anxiety that I suffer from.

Perhaps because I'm not exactly feather-weight I can feel the pressure I exert upon the earth pushing down, as if gravity somehow is greater on me. I often feel the strain on my trunk, through my legs and down onto the soles of my shoes, that this descending weight will simply force my feet to slide from under me. Sounds pretty loopy when you say it out loud (write it down) doesn't it?

I should start the search for a pair of incredibly sturdy and non-slip shoes to support me through the forthcoming five months. I am legitimately considering snow chains or strapping tennis rackets to my feet, but both would be lethal to drive in.