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Wednesday 20 July 2011

Scribble & shave

The girls asking what I was scribbling as I made notes of my musings; I told them I was writing a novel in the hope it would save me from a life trapped within the NHS. They didn't look altogether convinced (they say everyone has a book inside them?) Surprising really, they are as a rule usually fairly gullible.

When they asked me about my facial hair I told them I was growing a beard in tribute to Lord. Alan Sugar (previously Siralan Sugar) as the end of this series of The Apprentice. Not even a raised eyebrow, almost expected.

Peter Beavis – Portrait of Sir Alan Sugar (2011)

In truth after buying a new beard trimmer I thought it might be practical to grow a beard to trim. I want to get my sideburns up to scratch before travelling and the only way to do this without various contrasting hair lengths is to beard-up and then trim and shave to optimum length.

It soon becomes tiresome having to shave each & everyday to try to maintain professional standards, and the explanation of going a beard seems to allow me to let standards slip without criticism. Even that's not really true, I still have to shave everyday, just as a rule to less of my face, to avoid my chest hair meeting my face hair. Dare say it will be gone by Monday- ten days abstinence will no doubt be adequate and I do need to look like my passport photo.

I'm not having a shave at the airport again, no way. EJT had her nails painted a vibrant pink, I got mowed (beyond shaved), it was like having my skin flailed off! Rather than smooth strokes she pushed down with the razor so hard, at a similar pressure as if you were grating cheese, but perhaps not so vigorous. On a positive note I didn't need to shave again for 4-5 days, but even if I'd wanted to I couldn't have got a razor near my blazing until then. It was as if she had clambered into my mouth and pulled out each hair individually. This year I will be forgoing all beauty treatments to avoid potential pain or injury. The Virgin lounge don't provide a chiropodist do they, not that would be beneficial!

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