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Thursday, 11 April 2013

Off a cliff ...


Woke in the middle of the night feeling highly anxious, for perhaps the very first time in my life I had to control myself to not ...

Get up ... Open the bedroom door ... Descend to the hotels reception ... Exit ... Cross the road ... Wander across the scrubland ... and jump off the cliff.

I lay there feeling quite panicked, clutching the bed. Liz remained dead to the world obviously and I didn't quite know what to do. Seemed a bit extreme to lean over ...

"Hey Liz, sorry to disturb you at this earlybhour but I have a rather strong urge to go and jump off a cliff!"

Despite frequently having moments of despair and thoughts of self-destruction I have never had such an acute episode and one that required will-power to stay still. 

With hindsight this morning I wonder if it was actually an extreme and vivid dream provoked by anxiety at the prospect of returning home and to normality? 

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