Nevermind

The twentieth anniversary of the release of Nirvana's “Nevermind” approaches; whilst neither the band or the album were particularly important in my life, the grunge explosion opened the door to many bands that I love & loved. “Bleach” was an album I was aware of with it's release on Sub Pop Records and Nirvana were closely associated with some exceptional acts (Sonic Youth, Teenage Fanclub, Mudhoney, The Flaming Lips, Seaweed, Unrest, The Vaselines, etc). Their success and the success of “Nevermind” consequently provided greater prominence, promotion and availability for the alternative scene.

Yet Nirvana were a band linked to some major milestones in my life. I was nineteen when “Nevermind” was released (24^th September 1991), working at Do It All, involved in various bits of youth work and waiting to commence my nurse training. That place fell through and consequently my involvement in youth work increased, which would inturn stand me in good stead for all that was to come in the years following.

It was a great time to be in my late teens; to be alternative (whatever that meant or means?), appreciate music, literature, cinema & media and be socially aware. For the first (and perhaps only) time in my life to be fashionable, cool even (I was always too cool for school, just no one else ever noticed).

Two and a half years later I had moved to Stoke and begun my nurse training. Tuesday the 5^th April, terribly homesick (although terribly lonely maybe more accurate), five days after arriving in Staffordshire, I sat on my bed in the nurses home (Rm: 57) writing to my then girl-friend Alex, when the news of Kurt Cobain's suicide was announced on the radio. In my mind nursing and Nirvana are inexplicably linked.

Although I'm not sure why everything changed that night, music certainly changed; it heralded a rejection of American music for a while and the arrival of Brit-pop.

Much props must be given to Alex, my first proper g/f; she was incredibly bright and throughout our friendship and subsequent relationship she always encouraged me to write, explore wider literature and generally broaden my horizons. The relationship eventually petered out; youth, the initial 212 mile separation, her continued journey through academia (her at Cambridge University and myself in Staffordshire), both meeting new people and our lives life leading in very different directions. I fell from a relationship with Alex straight into seeing Vicki; I occasionally wonder what would have happened if I had returned to Dorset on the Friday before Christmas 1994 rather than going to that Keele University Festive Ball.

Perhaps I wouldn't have let the relationship with Alex desolve quite so swiftly?

Now eighteen years later I wonder how she is, where she went and what she does? Not for any ulterior motive, but simply 'cause I'd like to thank her for the introductions & encouragement. Seeing Vicki meant that the friendship couldn't continue (she was understandably threatened), but I missed hearing how her university adventure ended and beyond. In my mind I imagine that she emigrated to Canada, happily married and became a university lecturer (I don't know if any of these ideas are based on fact at all?) She has a common name, one almost impossible to internet search, so I guess I'll never know.

“Oh well nevermind”

                                  Nirvana- “Smells Like Teen Spirit”