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Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Wonderful, glorious vinyl ...


A Page of Punk (Japan) / Werewolves on Motorcycles (Stoke-on-Trent) Five label split 7" (-/100), brown vinyl.

Green sleeve (Yeah Records) 
Blue sleeve (Carnage Club Records) 
Pink sleeve (Pie'n'Mash Records)
Yellow sleeve (Drunken Sailor Records)
Red sleeve (Speedowax Records)

 Exceptional 17 track split punk single from Japan's A Page of Punk and Stoke-on-Trent's very own Werewolves on Motorcycles. 

Hear it here ... http://drunkensailorrecords.bandcamp.com/album/split-7-6

Struggles and challenges



Earlier this week we celebrated the first anniversary since moving to the new hospital site, time has certainly passed quickly. I recall boxing up ward 12b anxious about what was to come; moving to a new site, joining a new team and the change in role that had been thrust upon me (it may very well detailed previously here). 

I would love to say it’s all worked out for the best but I don’t think that is actually truthful, there have been successes no doubt and whilst failures also wouldn’t be accurate there have certainly been struggles & challenges.

I think all staff were initially overwhelmed by the sheer size of the ward areas, fearful of how big it all seemed in comparison to previous locations and the amount of steps paced each shift. Now it seems like home and the many miles covered each day just routine and the physical fatigue experienced during those initial months has passed.

I must admit I didn’t ever think that would happen.

Decorations, banners and partly inflated balloons  still litter the ward, remnants of cake and celebratory food remain tempting those trying to be good and those with very poor willpower (especially nocturnally) I even found a box containing All Bran crispy cakes, which succeeded in tasting as awful as they sound.

Temptation is often at every corner, people are very generous and grateful when their children (grandchildren) are discharged home and the easiest form of thanks for many is a box of chocolates or biscuits. Consequently high calorie treats loom large, in the day I can avoid them, but in the night time it’s much harder.

When you’re on nights, you just want to eat rubbish, bulky carb heavy foods that fill  and provide comfort. Rarely would you ever hanker for a salad or a bowl of soup, more likely a sandwich, pasty and anti-slimming world cuisine. 

Monday, 18 March 2013

Back on nights

I feel I am doing an increasing amount of nights, it's the turn around between nights & days that's doing me in and the numbers speak for themselves. So far during 2013 (since returning from my brief sojourn as the paediatric orthopaedic support nurse, sure to be mentioned in the future) I've worked thirty-three shifts; of those thirty-three nineteen have been nights. That's over 53% nocturnal working. The gold standard was to work five night shifts during every month, five out of thirteen. 

During that two month change the wards shift patten changed to just two shifts- 7am until 7.30pm and 7pm until 7.30am. There was a short trial of a further middle shift, the highly unpopular 11.30am until midnight, but that was sacrificed to allow greater staff cover on the core two shifts. Whilst no doubt the simplification of the shifts is a sensible more and that shorter day shift is a benefit, the new longer night is brutal (especially when it makes up over half of your allotted shifts!)

 Life stops when you're on nights; you go to bed, get up, shower, eat, go to work, come home, go to bed, get up ... it feels relentless. That extra two and a hour hours at work snatches all the time that was spent preparing for the shift. Now a run of nights almost requires militaristic planning to ensure they go smoothly, until of course you actually get to work of course! 

 ET is much better now with me being on nights, I'd say braver but that makes her sound vaguely pathetic, which she certainly isn't. She just doesn't like to be in the house alone by herself, which doesn't sound a particularly difficulty thing to understand to me? 

 All she has ever known me as is a nurse- a senior staff nurse on a busy acute admissions / short stay area, a deputy ward manager on an orthopaedic ward, then the acting manager (five difficult months) and now as canon fodder, a drone, storm trooper ... a bog standard nurse. So she often stays at her parents overnight, five miles away and closer to her school. It makes sense to me on almost every level; I never like driving away leaving her and I still find it difficult on occasion returning to an empty house in the morning. But on every other level it makes complete sense.

 I seem to struggle to sleep pre-first night shift, it was always a case of having a productive or at least active morning, then having a brief afternoon sleep before preparing for that nights shift. Now I just don't seem to be able to grab that essential pre-shift doze, so tend to get up and just sit about, fighting off guilt of being overtly sloathenly and neglecting essential chores. Which doesn't make me feel restful at all.

 This afternoon I could have (should have) just stayed in bed reading, perhaps then a further period of sleep would of occurred? But I was eager to write, my brain was desperate to get my thoughts down on cyber-paper. At least I'm being restful, whilst my body is certainly at rest my brain is going ten to the dozen.

Write / Don't write



I always seem to return to writing a blog (something more considerable) despite ongoing dalliances with social media, when I need to excise some demons, speak out or just express myself further I return to online writing.

Viewing my previous entries it saddens me that I have allowed it to become so neglected, but another view is that I allow it to lay fallow so that when I return things grow well. Just as a farmer would leave a field between planting crops to allow the land to become fertile and grow good produce. 

So unlike before I won't apologise for my ambivalence towards updating this place. I understand that I throw myself into things and then my interest often wains, I'm prolific on Facebook & Twitter, perhaps whilst maintaining a blog it'll allow me to be a little less so, more balanced and will be helpful?

I'm shocked to see it has been 436 days since my previous entry, those last few entries seem significantly more recent and recall them well. Sitting outside Costa in Stone watching the world go by and allowing my mind to wander.

So what's on my mind now?

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Application



Of course it's very different writing on an iPad to writing on a laptop or pc, whilst the formulation and drafting is significantly easier the publication is harder, there's probably an app, but currently it will be a a more simplistic project.

Oddly I feel better already. I haven't been overtly negative or self pitying, just truthful. Good truthful.

Previously I use to carry a notepad & pencil at all times, scribbling down thoughts, concerns, anxieties, overheard conversations, funny occurrences and the like to transcribe later online.

Now I tend to wade through twitter & Facebook desperate for distraction, writing is certainly more creative and beneficial, but I do want to avoid being too inward looking. Consequently entries maybe infrequent, but hopefully the overall quality will improve?

Saturday, 16 March 2013

We're on the list ... are you?



Please register & support

 http://lovehopestrength.co.uk/

 http://www.deletebloodcancer.org/

Friday, 15 March 2013

Meet the New Boss, same as the Old Boss*


A new Pope has been appointed; surely he's got to the better than the last one ... surely? 
(* "Won't Get Fooled Again"- The Who) 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Francis